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It’s a great time to be a geek. There was a time when Geeks and Nerds were frowned upon, teased and ridiculed, that is until these individuals started becoming the ‘flag bearers’ for the future of society as we know it. From Science and Technology, to Entertainment, Music, Fashion and beyond, the Geek has really ascended to plane all their own. But BEWARE! Especially for the ‘newly’ indoctrinated Geek, the newbie, the individual who has finally seen the light and has decided to join our swelling ranks…there are denizens of The Geekocracy, who can and WILL make your journey perilous and miserable. Who are these classes (or, classless) of people? We like to call them Internet Trolls. Let me give you a brief introduction.

The KNOW-IT-ALL

know-it-all
This is the KNOW-IT-ALL, the so-called expert in whatever particular subject you happen to be commenting on, whether its a particular film, comic, television show, whatever. You’ll find quite a few of these, as folks jockey for legitimacy and relevance. You’d think this individual was in on the production of the show or one of the creators or writers, with ‘inside knowledge’ regarding any and everything related to the subject. KNOW-IT-ALL’s…

Are confident, over-confident, sure of themselves, can’t be wrong and cannot be reasoned with. Their statements and comment are THE STANDARD and woe to those who decide to question their rule!< Are quite common, especially on fan-based sites, forums, Reddit and Facebook groups. Take a moment to browse through the comments of some of the more popular posts and you will see these individuals in all their delusions of grandeur. Also typically have a number of followers or minions who act as their 'YES-MEN', agreeing with and liking everything that comes out of the know-it-all's mouth. They also tend to look up to the KNOW-IT-ALL, asking him all manner of questions and deferring to his 'all-knowing-ness' on various topics rather than just going online to find answers at legitimate sources. This helps to add to their so-called legitimacy and may even encourage others to fall under the KNOW-IT-ALL's war banner.

THE SUPREME LEADER

leader
When he/she gangs up on you, their barrage of insults and ‘put-downs’ will be followed up by an equal level of torment from their faithful followers and cronies. They will faithfully support every comment and statement made by their beloved alpha. It’s almost entertaining to watch as they fall into line, liking and positively commenting on every word uttered from the supreme leader’s pie hole.

THE SUPREME LEADER will also most definitely be a KNOW-IT-ALL (above) and even a MR. NEGATIVE, discounting anything you say that clashes with his edict and even going as far to chastise and ridicule your asinine thinking. And if you make the stupid (although heroic) mistake of questioning or disputing anything uttered by the Supreme Leader, your feeble (although heroic) gestures will be met with a shit storm of minion ridiculousness. They will come to the aid of THE SUPREME LEADER in droves, belittling you to the point where you begin to question whether you knew anything at all?

From the ‘sidelines’ watching this ‘event’ take place is something to see, as you watch a hapless Geek succumb to the tsunami of worker ants eat away at their carcass, while all THE SUPREME LEADER moves on to other easy prey.

NOTE: It is advised not to directly confront a SUPREME LEADER unless you are fully prepared to weather through the mounds of shit that will, at haste, come barreling your way. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

MR. NEGATIVE

negative
This individual puts down any and everything that they do not agree with, which is usually nothing, even if they themselves suggested it, only because they’ll probably accuse you of piggybacking off their own ideas! Films and TV shows were either written poorly, filmed wrong, were politically or culturally wrong or incorrect, didn’t represent the genre, the fan base, whatever. You almost want to tell them, to go make the fucking show yourself since everything to you is essentially shit. Why do you even watch or read anything?

These guys (or gals) are huge turn offs and can really put a damper on a forum or group discussion, because they aren’t happy WITH ANYTHING. Tell me this, in real life, do you like hanging around with a Debbie Downer? I doubt it, and online these digital Debbie’s suck to be around. I typically leave a discussion when the crap starts to flow from their gaping mouths. It’s just toxic and doesn’t really add to the discussion.

NOTE: You can try to change their minds or add a little positivity to their lives, but I would caution against it, only because you have much more useful and entertaining things to do and explore than to get pulled down into ‘shitsville’ with this party pooper.

THE ANALYST

analyst
Bless their hearts, these folks will analyze something TO DEATH. Really pick apart your favorite show down to the nitty gritty, pulling out all sorts and manner of inaccuracies whether historical, scientific, technological or what have you. These are the ones that proudly proclaim whether in-fact time travel would actually work in that particular manner or whether the gun fired 9 or 10 times or whatever. They pull shit out that you wouldn’t of thought of in a million years. And its not that what they state is untrue or inaccurate, but that you could give a shit! You’re just trying to watch the fuckin’ movie!!

They will analyze the accuracy of comic book films and how close or far away they were from the comic book story line, or whether light speed or hyper sleep is even possible or that the latin name for this bug or that bird was even accurate in the film….just silly shit!

Now, granted, some of the stuff THE ANALYST pulls out of their ass is indeed interesting, as I myself have even been surprised and taken back by their discoveries, but you know…it’s a fuckin’ movie, right? We’re there to escape reality and be entertained. If I wanted to go to school I go to fuckin’ school right?

MEME MASTERS

idiot
I’m not gonna lie, there are MEME’s out there that are funnier than shit. But some users like to MEME everything, and not in a good way. There are MEME’s which help accentuate a topic or add to it in some funny or hilarious manner, but then there are MEME’s that seek to degrade and belittle whomever originally posted the piece or commenters on the piece. These particular MEME’s seem to garner lots of likes because to many they may seem funny, but to the poster or commenter that they are directed at, they are downright mean and degrading.

Many of the MEME’s are too derogatory to post, but trust me when I say this, they will most likely offend and piss you off to no end, so try your best to ignore and move on. MEME MASTERS are literally masters at creating or finding the most offending of MEME’s so in that regard they are quite resourceful. But make no mistake, they will rally the community against you.

MEME MASTERS have no real allegiance to anyone although they tend to just ‘go with the flow’ of the discussion. If the general feeling of the commenting is against you, then the MEME MASTER will join in on the fray. They rejoice in getting attention (as many of us do online), and the funnier and more trendy the MEME the more attention and likes they get.

IN CLOSING

You will undoubtedly run into variations and permutations of the above personalities as well as others not documented here (I would appreciate you adding into the comments below, any NOT listed here, for future reference). The point is, that NOW is our time. The rise of the Geek and the growing Geekocracy is at hand. But be aware and take caution, that there are ‘trolls’ out there that will seek to spoil your fun and enjoyment. Learn to pay them no mind, and by all means try your best NOT to engage them in heated discussion. You may be in for more than you bargained for, and in this case, that is a really bad thing!

Written By
The Geekocracy

The Geekocracy

Dave Lawyer is an avid Blogger, Card-Carrying-Geek and Founder of The Geekocracy, with an origin story that includes copious amounts of D & D in the eighties, comics, anime, TV & film. If you would like to connect with David, give him a shout-out on Twitter